Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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