I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
