yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
