The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Someone shit on the floor
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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