I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
