My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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