I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
