so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize