she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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