you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
