I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
