you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
