OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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