So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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