If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he shaved USA in his pubs
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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