I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize