i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
