Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
