i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
