So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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