i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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