She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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