Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
