I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
