Sponge bath it is.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize