why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
