That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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