im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
its liver damage thursday
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
