remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
