My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
