I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i think my cat just said my name.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Drunk is not a location!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I think my moral compass just broke
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
please don't ironically join a cult
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
