Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
