my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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