What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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