just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
