That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
