I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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