she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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