We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
