For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
