I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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