we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
