i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
