The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
