But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Fuck appropriateness.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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