the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
