his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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