i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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