No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
