My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
youre lurking in front of me
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
