Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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