I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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