i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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