I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
