I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
