haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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