he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
