Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
