The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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