last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
