just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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