she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
