My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You don't make any sense
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