Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
